I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
