I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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