i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
