Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
