I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
