if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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