I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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