If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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