he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
