dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we made out on top of his cat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
