Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
