for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
