me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
