Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
