Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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