her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
