its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
