operation harelip BJ is a go
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
