Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
