Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize