You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
