Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You work out of a Hotel?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
