He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize