The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
