had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
