good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
