can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
