Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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