I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
