They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
there is glitter all over my balls
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
