Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
