My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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