Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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