So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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