he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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