i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
