dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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