yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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