How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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