real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't deserve a penis
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
