He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize