I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
