Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
