next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
