Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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