I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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