remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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