Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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