do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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