He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
40s are totally the cure
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
