I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
