Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
