We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
