She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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