You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
