Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
