Sry I called you an 8
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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