you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
