If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
