For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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