If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
